Sunday, September 28, 2008

Random

Sunday, September 28, 2008


In studio last Friday one of my classmates came up to me and said someone needed to see me in the deputy dean’s office, right now. Okay, I thought. Even though I had no idea where the deputy dean’s office was. So I went to my studio master to get permission to leave the studio, and when I told her I had to go see someone in the deputy dean’s office, she said, “Why? What did you do?”

What did I do? I did something? Something wrong? Now I was freaked out. I don’t recall ever doing anything remotely compoundable by the kulliyyah or anything else, so far this semester I’ve only skipped one non-kulliyyah class, but anyways, I asked my lecturer where the office was and she told me.

When I got there (it was in the main office. Duh) I was made to wait a fair bit before that person came out, carrying a big brown envelope and some smaller ones. I relaxed a bit then, because the small envelopes were not letter sized, so it probably wasn’t a warning letter or anything.

Turns out I got an invitation to some program in the C.A.C that will be held on October 13th at 8p.m. I’m going, but I don’t know anyone else who is, so it might be a lonely dinner for me. Even worse if I’m seated with a bunch of freaky guys. But hopefully not. If any of you are going please let me know! This is what the invite looks like (its gold-edged!)






Thursday, September 25, 2008

A True Story

Thursday, September 25, 2008

This happened yesterday on the 24th of September, 2008,at around 9.05 p.m.

-----

Twas a chilly, starless autumn night,
Not a stirring person was in sight,
When, out of the corner of my little eye,
The strangest, most curious sight did I spy,
A procession of five, all walking in line,
It seemed as though their hands and feet were in a bind,
And at the head of the parade, pulling the thread,
The Grim Reaper himself, resplendent in red,
Brooding and hooded, scythe slicing by his side,
He led the captives along for a ride,
I thought to myself, "This must be a joke!"
It seemed so unreal, it must be a hoax,
For everyone knows, even the plainest old Jack,
That grim never ever wears anything but black!


Monday, September 22, 2008

150, are you blind?

Monday, September 22, 2008

Last night aka this morning while I was doing my work my eyes decided to take a short trip back to the 60's. I started seeing psychedelic, colorful spots, swirls, and lights. Far out. Turned off my study lamp for a while hoping it would go away. It seemed as though I was looking through a kaleidoscope and no amount of blinking would make it disappear. I guess that is what happens when you've spent the whole week looking at lineslineslineslines. 
 
As I remember it, I had iftar and went straight back to work. And when sahur time came, it was very weird, because it seemed as though I just ate, when actually, it was yesterday. Not sleeping really messes you up. My brain was not functioning at all today, if you can't already tell by this jumbled up post. 
 
after sahur I prayed and told my sister to wake me up in 15 minutes because I wanted to take a short nap on the floor (so I wouldn't make myself too comfortable, but anyways I’ve been sleeping on the couch for the past week since my bed is full of papers) I woke up and saw that it was already 7.30.
 
Rush rush rush
 
Head was pounding but had to stay awake in the car since I was trying to think of what to say in my presentation. Like I said, my brain was on leave so nothing came to me.
 
Also felt strangely nauseous today. Maybe it was nerves. Was afraid I might throw up on my project, which would have been funny but devastating at the same time.  It felt like motion sickness, I guess because I spent so long in one position that even walking made me feel dizzy. Not that there was much to upchuck anyways. Whatever energy I might have gotten from a banana and half a slice of pizza I wasted crying for no reason. Just suddenly felt so overwhelmed and sick and tired and frustrated and pitiful. Mentally unstable, like I said, my brain vacated me.
Anyway, presentation went good, thanks to Ilda who helped me figure out what I was going to say.
 
Died in the musolla afterwards, and woke up at 6-ish to even worse headaches and nausea.
Feeling a bit better now, but still...weird.
 
While doing my work I was thinking of all the weird ways an architecture student could die. 
Morbid but kept me entertained. one of the ways was inhaling too much UHU glue fumes, and another was getting so many paper cuts and then subsequently falling asleep in the bath/shower so that you s l o w l y bled to death.
 
I felt very sad. first of the last 10 days of Ramadan and I’m up all night, not praying or making du'aa but drawing lines, cutting boards, measuring, erasing.
Time to get back on human time. Time to get back on track. Time to recover.
 
 


Sunday, September 14, 2008

Restlessness

Sunday, September 14, 2008

I should be sleeping, seeing as how i barely got any in the last week, and a probably won't get much next week either. but the lure of a not-slow internet connection is just too strong. not that i have anything to do online anyways.

Finished reading two books last week, where i found the time God only know..
The first one was "The Story of Srebrenica" by Isnam Taljic. It was, for the lack of a better word, great. But at the same time I don't know what to make of it. It was refreshing but at the same time, how can someone be refreshed by what happened there? I found myself asking, what was the point of this book, where is it going? but then i realised, there doesn't have to be a point, as in, an end point. after all, its the journey that counts, and the book is just that. a journey through the minds of two people, from two different generations, and while seemingly random in their narrations, everything sort of adds up, but at the same time it doesn't, which is perfectly okay. Does that make sense?
Here is a much deeper insight into the book


The second book a read was "The Pact" by Jodi Picoult. It had been sitting on our shelf, unread, for a good several months, which I thought was odd given that me and my sister usually devour books immediately. But in hindsight, i guess why i didnt read it straight away is that at the time, i just read 3 of her other books, and was getting tired of her style, much like how i grew sick of the style of that guy who wrote "The Da Vinci Code" can't remember his name. on the whole, the book is not something i can relate to, but i fragments, yes. Shan't say much more in caase i spoil it for people who want to read it, or bore those who couldn't care less.


Really ought to give my poor panda eyes a break now... it was a tiring day.


Thursday, September 11, 2008

It's Back...

Thursday, September 11, 2008

...I think I must have mentioned/wrote about it before. Its back, and dangerous, eating away and carving out hollows somewhere deep in yourself, but you don't exactly know where. What is frustrating is that it doesn't take much to make it reappear, and yet, sometimes, you feel as if you are made of the hardest stone, one that even the most furious of water can't whittle away, when it matters the most that you should feel the way you're feeling now. A book, a related tale, a real life story, happening to the people you didn't think you were that close to even though you know you should be, and it takes that much to realise that they actually are close to you. You were just the one who always pulled away.
 
Wandering around, hiding, glazing over things that you see, thinking, and yet, not thinking. Absorbing and not processing. Processing and not remembering. Moving on from what was important to something utterly not. 
 
473, of The Pact. A friend once told me people look for pieces of themselves in songs and books. A line, a paragraph, a verse, that they think can accurately describe what they are feeling, even though it may be the most abstract of phrases. I didn't think it was true until I started doing the same. The melodies and prose articulating what you yourself struggle to put your finger on, or what you yourself search for deep inside your soul, wondering if you'll ever find it, name it,  and if you do, would you have the guts to do anything about it?
 


Saturday, September 6, 2008

Connections

Saturday, September 6, 2008

My friend's sister's husband is my brother's teacher, which i just found put yesterday after tarawih.
---
My 3rd grade best friend's grandmother used to stay in my grandmothers house in johor when she didn't have anywhere to stay, kind of like an adopted family. I found that out when i was in third grade when I went to her house and her grandma started asking me weird questions, like whats your grandma's name. People don't usually ask that do they?
---
My parent's good friend's daughter who used to live in Canada (i think) and Australia is my good friend's good friend. I found that out in Burger King when another good friend was telling me some good news.
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The only boy who talked to me when I first came to Malaysia used to be a close friend of another one of my good friends. Then she found out he smoked.
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My mom's Aunt's daughter (her cousin) is my classmate. That makes her...my aunt?
---

there are a lot more but i've got to get back to work. speaking of which, is there a study which tells you the statistics about the diseases that architects are most prone to, i'd think we are very susceptible to CTS, arthritis, back and shoulder related problems, eyesight abnormalities, etc.




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